And the results are in . . .

Great news. The PET/CT scan came back with no sign of cancer! Overall Impression: "No evidence for hypermetabolic recurrent or metastatic neoplasm with post operative changes noted in both the left and right lung." Things can never be too easy though- I need to follow up on a few incidental findings- some GI issues I think related to prolonged use of tarceva. I'm scheduled to see a GI dr to discuss.

Best news we could get. The dr. would like me to spread out my next scan between 3-6 months. We decided on 4 months. I'm still on the every 2 month time period for my brain MRI's. I guess it's a balancing act- trying not to be exposed to too much radiation. I'll take the 4 months though- this time around the PET Scan through me for a loop- it seems they did extra contrast - the dr wanted contrast with the CT as well. Combined with fasting, I was feeling pretty lousy by the time I got home.

Today I was treated to a free hair cut, color and style compliments of Joshua Christopher Salon in Fullerton. One of the bonuses for being a model in the St. Joseph Fashion Show I mentioned earlier. Since my hair fell out from the tarceva- it's slowly grown in thick and curly. It was great to get it cut and styled.

My boys are growing up on me. I'm off to Atlanta in a few days to bring Hunter to his first sleep away camp at Emory University. I can't believe he'll be gone for a month this summer! It seems like he was just born. We attended Willie's "graduation" from preschool last night. One of my short term goals when I was first diagnosed was to be around to watch my youngest go off to kindergarten. We've decided to enroll him in Pre-K at a new school since he's not quite ready for Kindergarten- close enough for me though. Aaron had a great year on the baseball field- making the all star team. I'm so grateful to be here for all of this. :)

I was recently selected to participate as a model in a fashion show whose aim is to raise money for my local cancer center. After watching the DVD from last year's show (over 1000 people in attendance) I'm not sure what I've gotten myself into. Hunter keeps telling me I'll be fine- just walk like they do on Project Runway. :) It's coming up at the end of June- tonight we have our first rehearsal. I need to put together a 75 word voice over which will run while I'm walking the runway with my "significant support person". How to summarize my emotional and physical two year battle with stage IV lung cancer in 75 words? I want to be thankful and hopeful without sounding cheesy.

Today may not be the best day to come up with something. Like I said in my previous post- I really try and live my life with hope- but there is also something else lurking- fear. I can usually keep this monster hidden in the closet. But this week is SCAN WEEK- try as hard as I can- I can't seem to keep the fear from invading my room.

Two scans down- one big one to go. I had an echo cardiogram last week- results came back normal. Higher up on the anxiety list is the brain MRI which I had yesterday- passed with flying colors. Perfect brain- no sign of cancer. :) But the most fear inducing scan of all- full body PET/CT scan takes place tomorrow. My first "post" surgery scan. There's that fear again- what will it show? How will I handle bad news? good news?

I'm trying so very hard to be hopeful and finding a way to lock fear in the closet and throw away the key. A lot easier said than done.

Back to writing my 75 words- think hope not fear. I must channel my inner Dr. Seuss.

“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”